


Don't threaten me with a good time

by ifitships_isits



Series: Darcy Lewis, Elder God [3]
Category: Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft, Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Evil Deaton, M/M, Other, Tentacles, The Necronomicon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7616365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifitships_isits/pseuds/ifitships_isits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, inspired by writing fan fic while jamming out to this song.  Watched the video and decided to write my favorite characters into that world.  Kinda tied to my Darcy is an Old one universe, but not really?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't threaten me with a good time

Stiles is sitting in the alley when Peter finds him. He reeks of a mixture of conflicting smells; roses, gasoline, and alcohol along with the smell of an unknown magic user. Stiles is dressed in a pair of high heels and a stained wedding dress with several pieces missing. The skin showing through the missing pieces had strange circular patterns of raised skin and ligature marks around his exposed arms. He walks over to Stiles, offering a hand.

“Are you ok?” Peter asks.

Stiles looks up at him, mascara smeared down his face and an almost manic grin on his face. For a moment, he feels the power emanating from the 23 year old spark. Stiles lifts his hand to wave at the pile of tentacles behind the dumpster at the back of the blind alley.

“Make sure it’s dead. I need a minute to get under control.” He can hear Stiles’ heartbeat slow from the rabbit rhythm familiar of his magic, the aura of magic slowly withdrawing. Peter nods, popping claws and listening for a heartbeat. Stiles struggles to stand, the chiffon skirt ripping after he somehow gets it caught on the edge of one of the heels. 

“It doesn’t have a heartbeat.” Peter says, his eyes glowing red as he rounds the edge of the dumpster. The thing looks to have partially exploded. He kicks at a tentacle, and it slides around his ankle. He jerks away shaking his leg and letting out a little yelp he would deny to his dying day. He hears Stiles laugh, a hint of hysteria clouding it.  
The tentacle twitched and goes limp, letting go and sliding to the ground. He turns to Stiles, who has finally managed to get to his feet. 

“Stiles, what the HELL IS THAT!” Peter says, pointing to the pile.  
“HellifIknow.” Stiles says, snorting. Peter smells the telltale scent of decomposition and magic fading from the corpse. 

“Are you in a wedding dress?” Peter asks.

“That I can explain. I lost a bet.” 

It’s Peter’s turn to snicker. Stiles bends over and throws up. Peter’s forehead creases.  
“Are you sure you’re ok? Or do you need to go to Deaton’s?”

Stiles pales at the name, fighting off what looks like another wave of nausea.  
Peter starts to get worried. He looks around and sees Deaton’s bag laying next to Stiles feet. It was tipped over and several broken bottles were scattered around it. Peter looks at Stiles, and then the corpse. 

“That thing is what’s left of Deaton, Peter. Or what ate him. I don’t know what happened, but that wasn’t Deaton anymore.” 

“Just what in the hell happened here? Are you telling me that thing behind the dumpster was Deaton?” 

Stiles shrugs. “Not exactly. Deaton summoned something. He called me asking for help. I was in the neighborhood and ditched my friends at the bar to meet him. By the time I got here, it was eating Deaton. Well, not eating, absorbing. I tried to pull him out, using magic. That’s when the damn thing exploded. I have no clue what he was working on, but, dude.” A shiver passes through the young man. He leans over and retrieves something from Deaton’s bag.

‘Portal due to open tonight. 14th and Apollo. Must be there to greet Emissary of Nyarlathotep. With Scott and Allison off trying to broker peace, Stiles should make the perfect sacrifice. I can drain the alpha dry when he gets back, if the Elder accepts my sacrifice.’

“Ever heard of a pack named, ug, here, you read it. I can’t pronounce it.”  
“And what the hell, man? Why is it I’m the one to get sacrificed? Do I have a sign or something? I’m not even a virgin anymore.”

He shoves the paper into Peter’s hands and starts digging through Deaton’[s bag, carefully removing the broken bottles and pulling out some he thinks may be useful. He also pulls out an ancient leather bound book. The leather was an odd color. He turned it over in his hands. The spine read Necronomicon. Peter yanks the book out of his hands. 

“Hey, man. I think I’ve heard of that book before. Wasn’t it in Evil Dead?” Peter sniffs the cover, jerking away.

“Human skin.” He mutters. 

Stiles frantically wipes his hands on the skirt. “Gross man, what the hell was Deaton doing with that?” Stiles looks disgusted that his former teacher would have it in his possession. 

“Stiles, this is not good news. This is crazy.” 

Stiles shakes his head. “Yeah, man I know. But can we get out of here? That thing is starting to smoke, and I really don’t want to get covered in….HellifIknow guts. Can I borrow a shower? And maybe a change of clothes?” Peter turns his head slightly, hearing a pair of high heels headed towards them. He hears a female voice call out for Stiles.

“You had a female companion tonight? She’s headed this way.” Peter tells Stiles Pushing the now smoking tentacle behind the dumpster and trying to look innocent. 

“Shit. Darcy. I told her I was going to find a shopping cart.”

“Why a shopping cart?” 

Stiles sighs as he hears Darcy yell for him again. 

“I told you, I lost a bet.” He turns towards the mouth of the alley, walking away with a bit of a wobble. Whether from the high heels or trauma from the fight, Peter was unsure. Then Stiles ran his fingers through his hair and somehow pulled himself together. Darcy rounds the corner, bottle of champagne clutched in one hand and a cell phone in the other. 

“Tony says it doesn’t count if you took off the heels!” She giggles. She takes in the scene, sobering quickly and narrowing her eyes at Peter. And the book in his hands.  
Sh glares at the dumpster as if seeing behind it. 

“Shit. Is this YOUR doing?” She says, handing Stiles the bottle of champagne and pushing past Peter. 

Peter shakes his head. “You don’t want to see….” The tiny brunette with a charmingly old fashioned hourglass figure rolls her eyes when Peter grabs for her and his hand passes through her, trying to stop her. She glances at the thing behind the dumpster.  
One tentacle slithers towards her blindly. It’s bleeding white putrid fluid. He growls and moves to step between, but he is pushed back by an unseen force.  
“Stay, Puppy.” He seethes, unable to even blink. His eyes, however, flash crimson at the strange woman. Darcy sighs, waving a hand at the mess the pile is turning into and it vanishes into a cloud of red and purple smoke. The white fluid starts to smoke as catches fire.

“Peter didn’t do anything. It was Deaton. It…. It ate him.” Stiles points his chin at the smoking ruins of the otherworldly thing.

“Pronoun game, sweetie. But I understand.” She walks up to Peter, holding out a hand. 

Peter’s nose is filled with the scent of mint and honeysuckle, along with an otherworldly scent that made everything in him want to bolt. The scent pushed out the lingering smell of the thing Stiles had fought and the other various repugnant myasmia in the alley had accumulated over time and realizes he can move again. 

“I’m Darcy. You’re Peter?” She looks at Peter, eyebrows wiggling at him.  
He steps away from the wall, straightening his clothes and smoothing a hand over his hair. He offers her his other hand, kissing it.

“You were right, Stiles. He’s quite the old fashioned charmer. Reminds me of Tony.” 

“Pleasure to meet you. May I ask what has brought you to our little burg?” 

She smiles brightly at him. “I knew Stiles’ mom. She and I went waaay back.” Peter glances at the girl. She looked a couple of years older than Stiles, who had just turned 22 the summer before. But with as much power as she was throwing off, she could be anything. 

“Stiles here finally let it slip he was learning magic, and a good friend gave me a book for beginners that I thought might be useful.” Stiles eyes pop open. 

 

“Shit. I left that thing in my pants. Please tell me you grabbed my bag when you came looking for me?” He says, pleading with his eyes at the woman.

“Nope. But I did leave it locked in my car. Loki would be pissed if you lost it! It was one of his favorite as a child.” She sighs, looking off into the distance. 

“What exactly happened here? Deaton was a little cryptic at times, but I never expected demon worship.”

“Not demons, per se. Just something from a couple of dimensions over. Really not that far away.” Darcy says with a casual shrug.Peter eyes her suspiciously. 

“I thought that kind of thing was entirely in the realm of fiction.”

“Says the werewolf.” Darcy grins as she steps away from Peter and closer to Stiles.  
“You ok honey?” She looks Stiles over, taking in his battered appearance. She puts her hand on his forehead and his wounds heal. 

“This… Deaton. Had he recently started talking about leaving town?”

“Deaton mentioned a trip once I went back to school. He told me it had something to do with the nemeton.”

“Is that the tree outside of town? I need to see it. Then I can explain some of it. I think. But we need to get that book put somewhere safe. And check to make sure nothing else gets through.” 

Darcy’s phone started ringing to the tune of ‘You’re so vain’.

“Tony! You’re going to lose the bet!” She says cheerfully. Peter’s superior hearing picks up on the other side of the conversation. The famous voice of Tony Stark was on the other end of the line. 

“Awe kiddo, Pics or it didn’t happen!” 

Darcy countered. “We haven’t been able to find a shopping cart. I TOLD you I’d call. Stiles is having some trouble with the dress.”  
“Gown.” Darcy heard in stereo, from Peter, Stiles, and shockingly enough, Tony through the phone.  
“What is all this about anyway? And why is Stiles wearing that to begin with?” Peter asked.  
“Tony bet me I couldn’t talk someone into…..” Stiles quickly put his hand over Darcy’s mouth.  
“Ah, it doesn’t really matter.” Darcy laughs and pulls away from him, but nods in Stiles’ direction.  
Stiles blushes.  
“Anyway, thanks for helping little’ Stinky here.” She put a hand on Stiles’ shoulder. “ His mother would have been pissed if I let one of my cousins eat him.”  
“What did you call him?” Peter asks incredulously.

“God no. You DID NOT JUST TELL MY CRUSH MY MOM’S NICKNAME FOR ME AS A BABY!” Stiles yelled at Darcy, while Peter doubles over in laughter at Stiles nickname. They hear a cackle of laughter from the phone too. Darcy looks down and realizes she’s still on the phone with Tony. “Got to go, will give you the deets later.” She pokes at the phone and shoves it into her bra. 

“Your nickname was Stinky?” Peter said as he caught his breath.  
“I had gas. Babies have gas. It’s a thing.” Stiles says defensively.  
Peter wiped tears away and Darcy skips out of the alley.  
Peter slaps Stiles on the back. “It’s fine Stinky. Let’s go win you a bet with a billionaire. Perhaps we can talk later about that crush thing.” He gives Stiles a wink. Stiles blushes as he realizes he had accidentally told Peter he had a crush on him. 

 

“DARCY LEE LEWIS!!!!! I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!” Stiles says, hiking up his dress and running after her. Peter get a quick flash of lace under the dress before Stiles rounds the corner. He can hear Darcy laughing as he follows. 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time!”


End file.
